‘We’re not dating. We’re not seeing each other. We’re just talking.

I can’t count the amount of times women have come to me, frustrated, confused, and stuck in the endless cycle of “just talking” with men they’ve met on dating apps or social media. And it’s not exclusive to online dating. And I’m talking about situationships or hooking app, that’s a conversation of its own for another day!! These women tell me stories of long chats, flirty messages, and endless “How’s your day?” texts, yet when it comes to stepping into something more meaningful, they hit a wall. He doesn’t make a move, and suddenly, you’re left in this grey area – not dating, not seeing each other, just *talking.*

Let’s get one thing straight: if you want a committed relationship, *just talking* should never be the endgame. Too many women settle for this phase because it feels like progress. After all, there’s communication, interest, even attraction. But if weeks, months, or – in some cases – *years* pass without any real commitment, you need to ask yourself: “Is this enough for me?”

Why Are You Settling for “Just Talking”?

There’s something really seductive about the talking phase. It’s safe. You’re not fully vulnerable yet. There’s still hope that things could develop into something more, and you keep telling yourself that it’s just a matter of time. But here’s the thing: time isn’t the problem, clarity is. Too many women convince themselves that if they just hang on a little longer, the situation will shift. He’ll wake up one day and realise you’re the one. Spoiler alert: that rarely happens.

Men who are content with the *just talking* phase, usually aren’t emotionally available or ready for commitment. They enjoy the attention, the connection, but they’re not willing to step into something deeper. And while you might think that continuing to talk will change their mind, it often just keeps you stuck in a space where *you* are waiting for *them* to decide your future.

You Deserve More Than Half-Hearted Conversations

You want things to move forward, so if he’s not moving forward, then *you* need to move forward – and I don’t mean by dragging him along with you. As a woman who wants a committed relationship, it’s not your job to wait around for a man to figure out what he wants. Your time, energy, and emotional investment are precious, and wasting them on someone who’s happy to stay in the comfort zone of “just talking” isn’t fair to you.

You deserve a relationship that makes you feel seen, valued, and excited about the future. Not one where you’re constantly wondering where you stand.

So How to Cut Things Off – With Confidence?

If you find yourself in this “just talking” phase with someone who isn’t showing any signs of progression, it’s time to take control of the situation. Here’s what I advise some of my clients to do:

*Get Clear on What You Want
Before you have any conversation with him, be brutally honest with yourself. What do *you* want out of this connection? If it’s a committed relationship and you’re not seeing the potential for that here, it’s time to make a move.

*Have the Conversation
It doesn’t need to be a big confrontation, but it does need to be direct. Let him know that you’ve enjoyed getting to know him, but you’re looking for something more substantial. If he’s not ready for that, then it’s best for you both to move on. This isn’t about ultimatums; it’s about setting clear boundaries for yourself.

*Be Ready to Walk Away
If he tries to keep you in that limbo with promises of “maybe someday,” take it as your cue to leave. A man who’s serious about you won’t leave you hanging in the *just talking* phase. Walking away shows you value yourself and your time.

*Don’t Look Back
It’s easy to second-guess your decision when loneliness creeps in or when he reaches out again with another casual “Hey, how’ve you been?” But remind yourself why you walked away in the first place. You’re looking for a man who’s ready to meet you where you’re at, not someone who’s happy to keep things light and uncommitted.

Here’s The Bottom Line:
The *just talking* phase can feel comforting, like a warm blanket on a cold day. But comfort isn’t the same as connection, and staying in this phase will only leave you stuck. Don’t settle for a relationship that’s not moving forward just because you’re afraid to walk away.

If you’re tired of the men who are only interested in surface-level conversations and aren’t ready to commit, it’s time to level up. You deserve a partner who’s all in – someone who’s as invested in you as you are in them. So next time you find yourself in the “we’re just talking” loop, ask yourself: “Is this what I really want?”

And if the answer is no, ladies, you know what you gotta do- keep moving forward!